Something To Do With Sadstuck
by Manicscloe
Summary: Karkat is having a painful time forgetting Sollux, but is that really what he wants? Bad summary is bad. Couple: Sollux and Karkat Please review :3


It's always hard to forget something when you've tried so hard just to remember it. That one memory that you always swore you would die if you forgot it. Karkat was having trouble getting rid of this one. He wanted to forget. He wanted to forget all the memories he had with him. Not because they were bad, not because he was mad at him, but because it hurt to remember them.

Every time he looked in a random direction he thought of all the times he spent with this certain guy. Mostly because they hung out everywhere in this small town. Every time he tried to escape the memories he would remember all the times he and this guy would talk about all the places they would go and see. He couldn't go see his friends because they all reminded him of they times they had spent together.

Worst of all, he couldn't close his eyes or dream because his face was everywhere. His smile and his laugh would play on repeat in Karkat's mind. Karkat would feel his hands on his hips as he pulled him close and pull him into a kiss. Karkat could feel their hearts beating together, the warmth that was between them.

Then soon these memories would lead to his favourite one. The one that hurt his heart the most. He couldn't stop it once it started.

_"Hey KK, I need to athk you an important quethtion." Karkat was sitting with him in their favourite spot in town. It was in the old park that no one ever went to anymore. It was hidden by bushes and trees, there was an old fountain that didn't work anymore and a river that ran through it. They were laying on the grass looking up at the clouds, making shapes out of them._

_"Shoot." Karkat replied looking over at a cloud that looked like it was in the shape of bumblebee. He laughed knowing that was the other guys favourite insect, he was going to point it out to him, but he didn't want to interrupt him._

_"Would you be willing to tell you parentth that you're gay? I'd tell mine too." Karkat looked over at his boyfriend with shock written on his face. The two of them had been dating for four years, ever since high school started. Everyone knew about them but there parents and they both had sworn that neither of them would tell their parents._

_"Sollux!" Karkat exclaimed in disbelief, sitting up. Sollux sat up also and smiled at his boyfriend. "What's with this all of a sudden. You know how my dad is! He'd kill you, then he'd come and kill me!"_

_"KK, calm down, there'th a reathon behind it." Sollux chuckled as he stood up and brushed the back of his pants up before reaching down to help Karkat up. Karkat grabbed his hand and clumsily got up, almost falling over, but Sollux steadied him out._

_"Thanks..." Karkat blushed before straightening up and looking at Sollux directly. He noticed how Sollux was avoiding his eye contact, he'd been doing that a lot lately, Karkat wondered what had gotten into him. "What's the reason?"_

_"Before I can tell you that, you have to promithe that you'll tell your parentth. With that, I'll promithe I'll be with you the whole way." Sollux smiled at him, a genuine smile, showing teeth and everything. Karkat had always loved that smile. Sollux never did that when he was around other people than Karkat._

_"Fine, but you have to be there with me..." Karkat blushed, "... or else I won't be able to do it." Sollux laughed and put a soft hand on Karkat's cheek and got down on his knees. Karkat rolled his eyes. Sollux usually only did that when Karkat was sad or hurt. Sollux's head came up to Karkat's chin and now he was looking up at him, trying hard to keep eye contact with Karkat without blushing._

_The hand that was delicately placed on Karkat's cheek was nervously trembling and sweating a little. Karkat looked at Sollux confused, he didn't look nervous at all but his body was telling a different story._

_"Tho, I gueth I have to tell you the reathon now don't I?" Sollux smiled as Karkat nodded and watched as his boyfriend bit his lip out of nervousness. He's so cute... Karkat thought as Sollux slid his hand from Karkat's cheek down to his hand. His other hand went into his pants pocket and pulled out a small object._

_Karkat felt tears spring into his eyes. He already knew what that was, he knew what Sollux was doing. Karkat gasped and put his free hand up to his mouth and felt a tear run down his cheek._

_"Karkat Vantath..." Sollux started to say, revealing a gold band between his fingers. Karkat was giggling nervously now, he hated it when he did that. It was really embarrassing._

_"Wanna be my life partner?" Sollux asked, laughing with Karkat, God was he ever so nervous to ask him that question. He was sure that Karkat was going to say that was stupid and they should just stay boyfriends for society sake, but he was happy to see that Karkat was laughing and crying. Tears of joy of course._

_"Oh my God Sollux," Karkat laughed, letting Sollux put the ring on him before dropping to his knees and hugging his, now, fiance. "Of course, why wouldn't I?" Karkat dug his face into Sollux's shoulder and cried, surely leaving a puddle of happy tears. Tears that Karkat wasn't used to crying._

_Sollux let out a sigh of relief hugged Karkat back, hoping that Karkat couldn't tell that he was shaking terribly. Karkat noticed but he decided that he wasn't going to bring it up. After a couple of minutes of just holding each other Karkat pulled away and wiped a few stray tears away from his face and sniffled._

_"Weren't you supposed to ask me that on one knee?" Karkat and Sollux bothed laughed quietly._

_"I knew I wath doing thomething wrong..." Sollux said a bit sadly and Karkat smiled._

_"Hey, that's what makes our moment ours isn't it?" Sollux nodded and crawled over to Karkat's side, intertwining their fingers together._

_"I love you KK."_

Karkat felt his heart pang as he heard the words in his mind. He played them over and over again. That was the moment that Karkat knew what they had couldn't be like it was with anyone else.

"I love you too, Sollux." Karkat said, a tear falling down his cheek. "I love you so much. More than a bee loves his honey and a crab loves his shell." Karkat put his hand over his chest, it hurt, it hurt badly.

Karkat soon came back to reality and noticed he was getting strange looks from the people that were around him. He was talking to himself again. He was sitting on the bench that was at the public bus stop. This was where they had there first fight. Karkat couldn't remember what it was about, but it was over something pointless. This is also the spot where Karkat realized he had a crush on Sollux.

This is where the cherry blossom leaves fell. It was that time of year and was in the morning. They were waiting for the bus to pick them up to take them to school. It was the first time Karkat ever heard Sollux laugh and see him smile and just see his whole personality take over him. All over some cherry blossom leaves hitting Karkat in the face lightly.

Karkat chuckled to himself, remembering how angry he was about everything back then. He was still like that, but more controlled. Karkat felt someone sit on the bench next to him, he looked over at them, half expecting to see his fiance but was faced with a familiar clown looking guy. Karkat would lie if he said he was disappointed, his mind knew that Sollux wouldn't be here, not anymore. His heart just didn't know that, that was a possibility.

"Are you ready Karb- Karkat?" Gamzee asked, in a very serious tone. Karkat gave a little smile, showing that he respected Gamzee for that. The smile soon faded as Karkat remembered where he had to go too. He felt the, now tpo familiar, pang in his chest as he thought of the location.

"I-I don't know." Karkat looked at the concrete and noticed drops of water hitting the sidewalk. He glanced up at the sky and noticed it had gotten cloudy. He could've sworn a couple of minutes ago it was sunny.

"I know it's hard for you right now Karkat, but you need to go and see him. It'll be good for you." Karkat hardly recognized this side of Gamzee, he really appreciated it though. Gamzee wasn't one to be serious, and he usually avoided situations like this, but Karkat was his best friend so he had to be there for him.

Karkat drew in a deep breath and looked over at Gamzee and nodded.

"Okay, but when we get there, I would like you to leave me alone with him. I think it's best if we talked alone." Karkat felt the tears form in his eyes again as his heart panged again for the thousandth time today.

"Of course, come on, I'll take you to him." Gamzee stood up and held his hand out for Karkat. Karkat took his offer and was pained with the many flashbacks of him and Sollux. Karkat thought he was going to collapse, why were they all coming to him now, he was being bombarded with Sollux and him together, all the conversations they had were now filling his head.

"You okay?" Karkat hardly heard Gamzee's question, Sollux's voice was playing so loud in his mind. Karkat nodded, realizing that he really needed to see Sollux. He's been pushing the date to see his fiance since the incident. He was too scared that if he...

"Ya I'm fine, can you just hurry and take me to him?" Gamzee nodded and quickly getting in his car and driving Karkat to their destination. Gamzee pulled into the parking area and parked the car, turning it off. Gamzee looked over at Karkat sadly.

"Need me to show you where he is?" Karkat nodded in embarrassment. Karkat got out of the car, immediately getting drenched in rain. It was a downpour, great. Gamzee went over to Karkat, holding an umbrella, and lead Karkat into a gated area that was grassy. The grass was decorated with nice marble stones that had flowers lying next to them and words engraved into them.

Karkat hated this, he hated being here, but he needed to see Sollux. He had to. There was nothing else that would be better for him right now. Gamzee lead him through rows and rows of the pretty decorated rocks until they got to one that was placed under a tree. Gamzee stopped and Karkat stopped with him. He felt the tears rise up as he saw his fiance's name written on the polished rock.

_Sollux Captor_

_1995 - 2013_

_A great son_

_and_

_a great friend_

Karkat's lip trembled as he read the inscription. Gamzee looked sadly at him, thinking now was a good time to leave the two of them alone. He tried to hand Karkat the umbrella just shoved it away from him. Gamzee sighed and walked away.

"Sollux..." Karkat absent mindedly said. His name rolled off his tongue like a blessing that he couldn't have. Karkat fell to his knees, not really caring if he got his clothes dirty, they were already wet.

"Sollux I miss you so much." Karkat cried, his tears hidden in the rain. "It should be me in that box right now, not you." Karkat crawled over to the gravestone, shoving all the flowers out of the way and hugging the rock.

"Why did you have to leave me. Why can't you be here with me right now? I want to be with you Sollux, forever. I just want you to know that there will never be another you in my life. You don't have to worry about me loving someone as much as I loved you. There will never be a person on this earth that will replace. Ever." Karkat sobbed until he felt sick to his stomach. What he wouldn't give just to feel Sollux again, just to kiss him one more time. Karkat looked over at the tree that Sollux was elegantly placed under. It was another cherry blossom tree.

"I remember this tree..." Karkat said smiling slightly, this was the tree Sollux and Karkat had there first kiss under. Of course that was before this was a yard for the deceased.

_"Why is it always so fucking cold during winter?" Karkat grumbled walking towards the tree that he and Sollux usually hung out under after school. Him and Sollux had been dating for a couple of months but hadn't done anything else besides hold hands. Karkat was happy just know that he could hold Sollux's hand whenever he wanted. He didn't really care if they went any further or not._

_"Maybe becauthe we're farthetht from the thun during winter, my dear." Karkat blushed at Sollux's words and glared at him angrily._

_"Don't call me that." Karkat growled, Sollux had been calling him weird nicknames all day and it was getting him irritated._

_"Fine then," Sollux repeated the sentence but said "dumbath" instead of "my dear". Karkat grinded his teeth together and turned to face him, barking insults at him. Sollux giggled and patted Karkat on the head._

_"Now, now, calm down." Sollux laughed. "What would you like me to call you then?"_

_"KK or Karkat is fine." Karkat told him, making his way under the tree, Sollux standing next to him and holding his hand._

_"Awe, that'th no fun. I could call you my little crab." Sollux laughed, squeezing Karkat's hand and inching closer to him._

_"No." Karkat said sternly._

_"How about my honey bee?"_

_"No."_

_"What about hun?"_

_"No." By this time Sollux's face was very close to Karkat's. Karkat didn't notice until the last name he suggested, which was whispered._

_"You can be my bumble bee..." Sollux's voice was really low and smooth, it made Karkat's heart race. He turned his head to face Sollux and instead was met with warm lips on his and gloved hands sliding down his back. It didn't take long for Karkat to register what was going on before he kissed Sollux back. The electricity that was flowing through him at the moment made him feel like he was invincible and like he could fly._

"Sollux, I just want you to know that you can call me anything you want me to okay? I love you honey bee." Karkat blushed as he said the words into a lifeless stone. Somewhere during the flashback Karkat began tracing Sollux's name with his pointer finger.

_"I love you KK."_

There it was again. Sollux's voice entering Karkat's head to tell him that he loved him, and just when Karkat thought he was all cried out too. Another tear ran down Karkat's face. He laid his head down on the stone and felt the tears run onto his nose, dripping off at the tip of his nose.

_"KK, can you dial 911 for me pleathe?" Karkat was awakened by Sollux's heavy breathing and him gasping for air. It surprised Karkat that he could even choke out that sentence. Karkat quickly got out of there bed and ran over to the phone dialing the number._

_"911, what is your emergency?" A woman's voice played through the phone._

_"My bo- fiance is having a hard time breathing! I need an ambulance here right away!" Karkat said quickly, mentally slapping himself for almost saying boyfriend. He hung up the phone ran over to Sollux who was trying to desperately hard to breath._

_"Hold on honey bee, the ambulance is coming..." Karkat told him, not knowing what to do. This was terrifying._

_"Wh-what should I do!?" Karkat asked him, knowing that Sollux would reply, he was too focused on breathing. "Do you need water?" Sollux shook his head, desperately taking in deep breaths. Karkat sat awkwardly near Sollux, rubbing his back, until the ambulance came._

_They rode to the hospital and made Karkat sit in the waiting room as they worked on his fiance. Soon a nurse came out with a clipboard and called out Karkat's name. Karkat quickly went over to her._

_"Yes?" Karkat asked._

_"We understand that Mr. Captor is your... fiance?" The nurse looked disgusted when she said fiance, Karkat had the urge to punch her in the face but held himself back, knowing that's not what Sollux would want him to do._

_"Yes." Karkat said, putting more annoyance in his voice than he intended._

_"Your fiance was diagnosed with a severe case of Emphysema, it's a very serious disease that you can get from smoking, does Mr. Captor smoke at all?" The nurse asked. Karkat shook his head._

_"Not that I know... actually he used to smoke with a few friends of mine when we were in high school but he quit..." The rest of the conversation went on, Karkat zoned out most of it after he heard her say that he could possibly die if he doesn't keep taking his medicine._

"So dumb Sol... you're so dumb." Karkat cried.

"Never mind..." He said after a while of thinking. "I'm the dumb one. I should've made sure you took your medicine. I knew how bad you were at taking care of yourself, why didn't I know any better." Karkat took a deep breath and rolled off the stone, landing on his back onto the grass. He kept one of his hands on the stone though.

"You know we're supposed to get married in a few months." Karkat laughed. "Don't make me show up at at the altar alone, asshole." Karkat felt that the rain wasn't as heavy as it was. It was actually more like a sprinkle now. Karkat let his eyelids drop halfway. His mind flashing images of all the memories he and Sollux had together.

_"Well I'm off to the store, want anything other than groceries?" Karkat asked, grabbing his phone off the counter and putting it in his pocket._

_"No not really." Sollux said walking into the kitchen where Karkat was. Karkat wrapped his arms around Sollux's neck and hugged him, giving him a small kiss on his lips._

_"Alrighty then." Karkat let go of him and headed towards the door._

_"KK..." Sollux said, slightly annoyed and Karkat smiled._

_"Oh, did I forget something?" Karkat asked. Sollux raised his eyebrows and had a facial expression that said "you know exactly what you fucking forgot". Karkat quickly walked over to Sollux wrapping his arms around his neck,_

_"I love you Sollux." Karkat whispered and kissed his cheek before letting go._

"I love you KK"

Karkat's eyes widened. He sat up and looked around. He could've sworn that someone was right next to him just now. They sounded just like Sollux. Karkat layed back down and thought back to his memory and smiled. At least the last words we said to each other were "I love you".

Karkat smiled. Maybe he didn't want to forget things that he tried to hard to remember in the first place. Karkat got up off the ground picking up all the flowers and placing them back neatly in front of the polished rock and started to walk away from the stone. He looked back at it. He really didn't want to leave, but he had other things to do. Besides, he left with the best memory playing over in his mind.

_"I love you KK."_

The End

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**I hope you enjoyed, please review :)**


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